Welcome to Think Like A Man Airlines, flight 24/7.
Prior to boarding, please make sure to check your baggage, as there is no space on board for skeletons in the closet. All eligible, non-crazy bachelors are now welcome to line up on the right-hand side for pre-screening.
There are two exits on this aircraft: one friendly, the other, not so much. All passengers seated in an exit row must be over the age of 18, be willing and able to assist in the event of a real or non- emergency, and must do so in a drama-free manner. Smoking, drugs, and violence are strictly prohibited in the cabin. Any individual who violates proper treatment code will be immediately ejected from the aircraft.
We ask you now to turn off all Blackberry's, blueberries, strawberries, and any other electronic device that may or may not get in the way of date night conversation. In compliance with relationship regulations, I will now demonstrate the following safety briefing while we invite you to sit back, relax, and enjoy your flight to Happy Coupledom, USA!