Verse: Dreary Friday

Split splat of raindrops against my four-paneled windows
Sputter of the dead heater/AC
Low rumblings of airplanes, or thunder, or wind pockets…in the distance
Tuneless buzz of the fridge
Errr—mmmmmm of the broken printer
Nasal ehhhhh of the vibrating cellphone being turned off
The roommate's AIM getting a message on the laptop that she forgot to turn off
A loud party next door
A drunk girl singing off pitch outside…

Clattering footsteps approaching
A. knock. at. the. door.

…for the room across the hall

Michele's in Jersey
Alex's in California
Becca's in Venice
Lauren's in Connecticut
My parents are in China
And me

Well I'm staying here actually
Piano on Monday
Midterm on Tuesday
Econ Scream no. 2 on Wednesday
Midterm on Thursday
Management work on Friday
Performance on Saturday
Presentation prep on Sunday

It's like a messed up version
Of Fonzi's "Happy Days"
Sure
These days are yours and mine
Happy
Yes
But he forgot to mention
Hectic
And

emptiness

need to hear background noise
artificially generated tv sounds fill
the empty void

the world is going fast around you
and you are still
eyes shut
everything whirls
open

And you stare at bright computer screen
Aware that there is this life
And just this life
One only for you to max out on

So I guess I will
Not take things too seriously
Like the tv blasting Comedy Central

As if fake, synthesized laughter will make me laugh too
On the outside
And make me feel less empty inside

What am I feeling
What am I saying
Why am I like this

I'm not homesick
And I'm not in denial
I'm not alone really
writings on the facebook wall
just that independent feeling
of college

for now the tv makes me feel better
my cure for loneliness

[Written: 10/13/05]